I’ve always wanted a #2. I grew up with a sister who is 5
years my senior and often felt I was the ‘only’ child. While she was reaching puberty
(12 years old), I was only 7, barely stepping into primary school. So, I’ve
always wanted 2 kids with a closer age gap. J is turning 4 in March 2013 and I’m
in no way preggie yet, which means the age gap may end up 5 or more or none at
all.
I’ve discussed with the HB on this and often it lays back to
the problem of finances and a whole lot of worries from my end.
Financial
We are the sandwich couple whom need to provide for 2 old
folks with my FIL going through dialysis. His medical bills are close to $2k
per month and it’s greatly shared by my SIL & HB.
J’s monthly childcare fees are $600 after subsidy. With #2,
it means we need another $600 or definitely more for infantcare, babysitter or
helper.
Logistics
I was the main caregiver for J for the first 3 years. I had
to clean poo, feed & shower him and put him to sleep every day without fail
while no one in the family could help. J only wants me to bring him to
childcare every morning. On days when I had to work early, I had to sneak out
of the house to prevent him from tagging along.
With #2, it means I have to bring J to childcare and #2 to
infantcare which will most likely be 2 different locations.
Phobia
I had my fair share of Post-Natal Depression and am really
afraid of going through it again. And this time, it may be double the blow
since there’s #1 to manage too.
As beanienus mentioned, will we want J to grow up alone and handles
everything on his own?
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